Blurried Musings

2003-07-07T11:30:00.000-04:00

A Last Post, Not The Last Post [October 2004 Update: Blurried Musings, guff and The Guff Depot disappeared from the site originally linked to here some time back. However, it now resides on my own site as part of guff, merged painlessly if not seamlessly. So what are you waiting for? Get on over there!] I have something to admit to anyone stumbling across this: for all the certainty with which

2003-06-09T10:26:00.000-04:00

It Takes an Agenda Early today, wide awake, and not atypically I found myself at the computer. Meanwhile in the next room, a conservative radio talk show tag-team spent the hour chattering on imbecilically (Ok, they occasionally hit a comic note). The topic is Hillary Clinton's chat with Barbara Walters last evening. After a thorough analysis of the interview, objectively weighing her answers

2003-03-06T09:22:00.000-05:00

General Steps for Making Coffee* Due to the ongoing problems with coffee making in our break room, and after bringing in (at considerable cost) professional cleaners we feel the coffee area should not need to be touched again for some time, company management held a meeting to draw up guidelines in how to produce passable coffee using the coffee machine. Please use the following procedure in all

2003-02-06T16:19:00.000-05:00

Numerology For Dummies, Volume 2 (Read Volume 1 to catch up.) The Swerdlow interconnectedness calculator is running overtime on Expansions. Last we were here, I hit on their list of numerological symbolism said to be hidden in the Shuttle Columbia tragedy, and evidently readily open to discovery by the Illuminati watchers out there. Or at least anyone sporting an overactive imagination and the

2003-02-03T17:13:00.000-05:00

Numerology For Dummies Over on Expansions, a Web site which focuses on the "multidimensionality of the soul," they note the following in their current news:Columbia Disaster—Major Global Ceremony! February 1, 2003 On 02-01-03, the space shuttle Columbia was destroyed as it completed its mission and returned to Cape Canaveral. There is such a huge amount of symbolic, ritual evidence that I have

2003-01-28T15:53:00.000-05:00

Great Just To Be Nominated I'm not sure what to make of having Blurried Musings nominated in this particular search for most boring Web site. By the way, the thread subject is "Worst web site???" which I note in passing should not to be taken as synonymous with most boring. Though I'll allow that they can be, and often are, one in the same, these are two separate and distinct categories which

2002-12-23T16:56:00.000-05:00

Why I Am An Atheist - Or Not"There ain't no answer. There ain't going to be any answer. There never has been an answer. That's the answer." - Gertrude SteinJim Holt, in an article over at Slate, asks if non-God fearing Americans such as myself can prove God doesn't exist. There's a tiny bit more to his piece than that, but since the issue of proof is his challenge and the gist of the work, I'll

2002-10-31T08:24:00.000-05:00

A "Catholic" Response Oh, Márk, Märk, Mãrk. You're trying to get me to be serious and somewhat long in wind here. I'll avoid the temptation if only because it's very off-theme for this particular blog of mine, and so not a Good Thing®. One does not believe that things End (purposely using the big E there) when in expectation of everlasting life, something I'm quite certain is in the Catholic

2002-10-20T10:31:00.000-04:00

The Blog Fix I knew it would happen sooner, not later: I officially read far too many blogs for my own good. Of the blogs I have scheduled for daily visits alone, these reside in three distinct organizational nesting groups in my bookmarks, two of them teetering with subgrouped trees that arch back and forth across the screen with appalling ease. It was intended to give some sort of overall

2002-10-06T09:56:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Eleven Because of the awareness-inducing focus a task like writing incurs, I now can't help but pay attention to what are normally unsolicitous sounds from beyond the open window at my side. And thanks to the ever present Memory and its receptivity to recall by something as simple as the impetus of another's virtual journal contents, the outside noises

2002-09-27T16:36:00.000-04:00

The Kafkaesquí Guide to Blogging Fame So you finally took the plunge and set up your very own blog on the Internet. In it you placed links to dozens of blogs of your close, and not so close, friends. You've posted an array of comments which comment on the comments from other blogs, who in turn comment on other comments commenting on comments from yet further blogs. You paid a company to place

2002-09-12T12:09:00.000-04:00

A New Kind Of Coffin I wrote what is to follow a month ago, merely a comment to a post on another blog. It was in regards to an AP news story asking what we -- as Americans -- should do with the remains workers at the Pentagon and Pennsylvania crash sites had collected of the terrorists. For reasons I no longer recall, I first wrote these words off-line, and saved them. This morning I came

2002-09-09T00:23:00.000-04:00

One Atheist on 9/11 This post is a departure. A departure, that is, for Blurried Musings, which I intended as a place for me to throw silly, harebrained ideas against the Internet wall to see if I could make them bounce back. It was a box for play, in and around words and to ridicule the taking of anything seriously. Even when my material required an opinion or temper or measurable amount of

2002-08-28T20:51:00.000-04:00

E-mail Reply To Sarah at Mumble-Mumble.com > Hi Hello! > I visited kafkaesqui.blogspot.com, and noticed that you're not > listed on some search engines! You are unusually curious, Sarah, and no doubt a highly caring person to be so distressed about something like this. Let me assure you the situation that has caused you grief is only for search engines I do not desire to be on. I thank you

2002-08-13T19:16:00.000-04:00

Is This August? Hey, here's something which seeped into my consciousness incrementally over the past couple decades (or thereabouts) that I feel of some minor importance to note: Don't make up any personal rules you'll only be required to break. With that said, how about a little Q&A time: Which rules do I think should fall outside the margins to ones involutional stage direction? I'll leave

2002-06-21T23:35:00.000-04:00

Temporary Corrective Lenses This is a full stop. Well, for now. Let me explain: My regular readers (all three of them!) may have noticed some technical problems over the past few weeks with this Weblog, blog, whatever. First there was a loss to Blurried Musing's customized look, thanks to problems even beyond my many skills to hack it back to shape. Damn Blogger... Anyway, I figured out how to

2002-06-20T21:08:00.000-04:00

Static Cat

2002-06-19T22:19:00.000-04:00

Things I'd Hate to Learn At This Point In My LifeNobody reads lists. The answer to every multiple choice question I've ever had was B. The Earth actually is flat. Every business proposal I've ever made is a type of Ponzi scheme. Preferred spelling is email, not e-mail. All during 1997 I had an uncanny ability to predict the lottery. Those who ignore history? Turns out they don't repeat it.

2002-06-18T22:20:00.000-04:00

A Conversation With Orley O: "Good morning Kaf. Enjoying your coffee?" K: "Not too bad. They cleaned the pot yesterday. Second time this millennium, I believe." O: "So, Death came to see me last night." K: "What?" O: "Sorry. Want me to get a towel for that spill?" K: "No, I got it. What did you just say?" O: "About Death? He came to see me." K: "Really. Is it true what they say about

2002-06-17T23:33:00.000-04:00

A Fantastic Lack of Conviction I find there's two distinctly different ways to handle problems in ones life, during the day to day... well, handling of them. The first is to go straight at anything like a gangbuster, full of determination, zeal, and with an absolute certainty you'll know what's right and what's wrong in any matter, and how best to take care of either, or both. The second is a

2002-06-16T22:35:00.000-04:00

From the Desk of God Dear Kaf, I assume you do not mind Me calling you Kaf. Not that I am concerned with being presumptuous; that is something I have always been able to get away with. You may find this strange, but I do not take the time to write much anymore. It seems most of you down there are not all that interested in reading a message from your Creator these days. And to be honest, those

2002-06-15T23:57:00.000-04:00

April Anti-Fools' Day A few days ago I came to realize one thing atheists are truly lacking (other than a larger office and full medical) is a holiday of our very own, when we get to bother the boss for a day off for our atheist-only activities. Let's call this day of the atheist Non-Believers' Day. Its symbol will be a candle burning bright. I was thinking about a human brain as the day's

2002-06-14T20:56:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Ten I don't think the adults around me comprehended that as a child among other children in the comparatively vast and irregular geometry of our neighborhood, one constituting approximately twenty tireless young bodies, a dozen bare backyards, and the late twentieth century equivalent of a Midwestern wilderness, the only important rule of property was the one

2002-06-13T21:22:00.000-04:00

Static Cat

2002-06-12T23:43:00.000-04:00

Absurd Blog-inspired Words Blogtastic Bloggy-eyed Blogification Blogtrotter Blogueur Blogey Blogbuster Bloghead Blogaphobia Blogbarian Blogasm Blog

2002-06-11T21:36:00.000-04:00

Putting On the Writer's Costume Of all the paying jobs I've held through the years, only those of recent vintage demanded an appreciable amount of my time spent in the area of writing, even though it was not a primary responsibility. For example, when I managed the MIS group for a medium-sized operation (which I'll forever refer to as my MIS-manager job), it fell upon me, due in part to a dearth

2002-06-10T21:48:00.000-04:00

Insurance From Heaven A bit of non-rhyming, meter-less poetry. Just to pass the time... I knew a god and goddess once Who one rainy Sunday afternoon Took a drive in my car to Fresno And never returned. It was probably good for them; I know it was good for me As I reported my car stolen To the proper authorities. There's nothing much better than The insurance payoff; It more than makes up for a

2002-06-09T22:01:00.000-04:00

Revisiting The Word Discovered inside a copy of The Bible (NIV Edition, Rev. 1984) Faithful Reader: First, I'd like to thank you for purchasing My Book. If this has been given as a gift, please pass My Gratitude on to the donor, and note his or her rewards await. If this has been stolen, a lasting punishment will be exacted upon the violator of the eighth commandment (as noted in This Book;

2002-06-08T21:45:00.000-04:00

Tengent One - I wonder how many people throughout history during the whole of their lives purposely refused to learn to tie their own shoes, and not just due to the bulk of ancestral footwear being of the loafer variety, thereby requiring no laces. I don't think our forefathers were less sluggish, only that they were lazy about different things. How times change. Two - Animal tracks were an

2002-06-07T21:03:00.000-04:00

Anti-Résumé While caught up in what seems the new perennial human activity of looking for work -- what I consider to be my current full-time accidental volunteer position -- I find it would in general be faster, and in an ironic way more humane, if all the pretense was dispensed with and I'd be asked what there is (if anything) about my background or personality which might keep me from getting

2002-06-06T15:02:00.000-04:00

Static Cat

2002-06-05T16:51:00.000-04:00

A Brief Story Interlude (Blue Bobby) Bobby was in most ways a typical ten year old boy with two wishes he hoped would come true. His first was a simple one a lot of boys Bobby's age (and sometimes much older) pray for: to be important and get noticed. His second was rather different though. In fact, it was very different from what a ten year old boy might normally wish for: Bobby wanted to be

2002-06-04T20:59:00.000-04:00

Misplaced Horizon So far, and by that I mean up to this point in my life, I've permanently misplaced a good quantity of stuff. Some of these things were still of use at the time they disappeared, though not all that important in the greater scheme of... things. In that category can be filed a math notebook I had back in sixth grade, a music CD I don't recall listening to very often (or at all),

2002-06-03T21:36:00.000-04:00

Little Used City Slogans (US) New York - The Big Malus Los Angeles - The City Where Angels Are Unlikely Washington, D.C. - US Government Swamp Philadelphia - Somewhat Peeved Since 1800 San Francisco - Where Earthquakes Are Merely A Nuisance Boston - Now More Like The Corinth of America Denver - Join The Mile High Club Without Leaving The Ground Atlanta - The World's Next Great Traffic Jam St.

2002-06-02T22:50:00.000-04:00

The Noncommittal Sunday Prayer God in Heaven, if you really do exist and reside in such an eternal residence out there, somewhere. Please guide me in my times of need, but not if that guidance comes at the expense of others, or if such times of need don't fully justify it -- I'm unaware of what future support I'll require, so keep that in mind. Give me the strength to follow your will, if

2002-06-01T21:56:00.000-04:00

Web Design Remedies Over the years I've learned a lot about Web site design. I can actually claim (without exceeding my quota for personal conceit) that I was fine-tuning Web pages long before HTML came with a version number attached to it. This was back when the major issue of layout was whether to use an HR tag to separate sections or a 'line' image. Back then one really did have to consider

2002-05-31T22:38:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Nine From lessons to teachers, from lunch to recess, my first six years spent in elementary school was a vast and confusing channel of mixed transmissions for me. Going back to first grade, we had class sessions where our teacher read Bible stories to us. Honest to goodness Biblical tales, right out of the New Testaments (though not the King James version).

2002-05-30T23:28:00.000-04:00

Static Cat

2002-05-29T22:17:00.000-04:00

The Everything Rant I'd like to take this time to complain about something. Problem is, I want to do it about way too much stuff. Terrorism, religion, government, our society, people in general, my family specifically. Life, death, and all the crap that goes on in between the two; I really am impotent to choose one topic from the myriad elements ticking me off, to one degree or another. I'd

2002-05-28T22:14:00.000-04:00

Nothing Redux I've gone and done it: having covered the subject once before, and really not all that long ago, still I find it again necessary to write about nothing. I could have composed a comedic song parody, or challenged one of the many assumptions I have about frozen peas, but instead I return to previously trodden ground. I guess I can't help myself, nothing being one of my favorite

2002-05-27T23:33:00.000-04:00

Jobbing for a Job I am looking for a job. I don't say this to appeal for offers from the Blurried Musings readership; far from it. I'm just stating it to make it clear how deep into this topic I am. Then again, if you're hiring... There's little about job hunting that actually performs like an armed pursuit by the job seeker. First, and naturally enough, there's rarely a firearm involved.

2002-05-26T22:00:00.000-04:00

Things God is Not Known to Have Said Think I have it easy? You try doing My job for a day. What time is it? Let's see some more of that begatting. You're all nothing but monkeys with pockets. Damn Noah! I told him to leave wombats off his list. I need another day off. Got Milk? I'm in the mood for a new religion. What in Hell is wrong with you people? Next time it's just one: Thou shalt not piss

2002-05-25T23:14:00.000-04:00

What's Not to Regret? Wouldn't it be great if we were given do overs for past life choices? Or better yet, that life would function more like a sketch pad? I know I would have gone through mine in pencil first before committing it to indelible ink. Life obviously doesn't work that way, and each experience or happenstance, once in the past, is nothing more than a one-off, a permanent reference

2002-05-24T20:23:00.000-04:00

Blogging Bitching and Bellyaching I've come upon a bit of a problem in my Blurried Musings submissions over the past week: I'm not in the mood. When I began barely three months ago, the ideas came quickly, and I spent an average of a single hour composing and cleaning up each article. Now I tap my eyelids throughout the day as I wonder what's to go up next. And the time spent writing! Well, it's

2002-05-23T21:22:00.000-04:00

Static Cat

2002-05-22T21:11:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Eight God. I've had some trouble with him... her... over the years. As a kid, I wouldn't say our relationship was especially strained, but we had our moments. I was brought up to be an adequately obedient Catholic, primarily by my mother, since Dad would have none of it. That I'm now a rather shabby Zen Buddhist tells how successful my upbringing went in this

2002-05-21T22:09:00.000-04:00

Confused Zen Thinking I had a strange thought yesterday. But before I go on with it, I've come to realize that the act of thinking is a very peculiar kind of event. You're taught -- well maybe not you but I've had such lessons -- that to live life "correctly", that is to the fullest, you must live it in the moment. Not just carpe diem but seize the ever present interval of time you reside

2002-05-20T21:59:00.000-04:00

The Blurried Musings Pop Quiz Take your time when answering the following questions, because you have all the time in the world. Grading will be based on a hyperelliptic, four dimensional curve. Count the number of times you've heard the tongue twister "How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and subtract from it each instance you thought "Who gives a shit?" In

2002-05-19T21:04:00.000-04:00

I'm Kafkaesquí, And So Are You Surfing the Net sometimes takes on the air of a pantsing. Whether to myself or to some other poor duffer it's hard to tell at times, but there's often a distinct air of that spur of the moment prankish event, like some broadband trickster god is on the prowl for any chance to pounce in with a bad-natured scrape of asininity. This feeling comes upon me from a

2002-05-18T22:23:00.000-04:00

Sentences I Never Want to Hear (Again) "Why do you think we should hire you?" "I know I wasn't supposed to do this, but..." "You're the kind of guy I'd date, if I was single." "Are you questioning my authority?" "Hey, that's not a Tic Tac!" "I bet you've thought about hair transplantation." "Why don't you call more often?" "It's fixed, but it cost a lot more then we estimated." "The unemployment

2002-05-17T23:08:00.000-04:00

A Conversation With Orley O: "I have a gift for you Kaf." K: "What? It's -- it's not my birthday or anything." O: "No, and it isn't a birthday kind of gift." K: "Well thanks, Orley. That's real nice. I don't think you've ever given me anything before." O: "No? Well, now I can say I have." K: "What is it?" O: "It's a gift I give out of a deep appreciation. For the gift, that is. It's a

2002-05-16T21:39:00.000-04:00

Weblog Proposals I may be in the market soon for a new Weblog (an additional one, not to replace Blurried Musings), and towards figuring a nice blog project to take up, I scouted out some of the various categories of online journals which exist. I lack sufficient desire for a vertically scrolling log of my day -- I don't even keep a normal paper and pen diary, and am not attracted to the idea a

2002-05-15T21:38:00.000-04:00

When You Said I Couldn't... ...Did you mean I won't be allowed to? Because really, I don't see where the limitations lie, not really. And I've looked hard; but I'm quite happy missing them, since I rattle against boundaries. Lines are drawn to circumscribe a standard way of thinking or behaving. Stepping over that line is an act. Sometimes one of courage, more often one of pure stupidity that's

2002-05-14T22:08:00.000-04:00

Street Signs of Aging As I get older, it's become impossible for me to fail noticing those slight but ongoing modifications to mind and body, especially in what I think about, or the tasks I can or can't perform, or the ever larger maneuvering room I require to negotiate a walking turn. Thankfully it's not bent spine, Ben Gay, and rocking chairs for me yet, but it's no longer a very long trip to

2002-05-13T22:27:00.000-04:00

A Brief Story Interlude (The Taciturn Terrier) There is a village so small and so far off the routes people take, that most maps fail to list it. This doesn't bother the citizens of the village, as they're proud all the same. Among those things the citizens take pride in, such as their ability to do the fairest day's work in their fields, or how the sun glimmers off the village pond, the two

2002-05-12T21:33:00.000-04:00

Robot Toilets Wait a minute, what's the date? It's the year 2002 Anno Domini by the old Gregorian calendar, correct? That would put us far enough into the Twenty-First Century for me to start wondering. Not in general, but about why we are so far behind schedule with those fantastic bits of technology we were told to expect round about this time. Popular Mechanics and other slick, forward

2002-05-11T23:08:00.000-04:00

Better ENRON Project Code Names $100,000,000,000 Pyramid The Big Lay-bowski Chump-dilly-icious Don't Show This to Watkins Rate Heist Investor's Wet Dream Money Laundry Bags Skilling Spree Andersen's Funky Calculator Legal Schmegal Treasure of the Sierra Monda Gassholes

2002-05-10T22:15:00.000-04:00

Don't Steal This Blog Copyright is not an issue of discussion many would think of tackling in a humorous way. So let's do that, shall we? First, I hate when columnists hold off their views on a matter at hand until somewhere near the end. I assume they do it to improve the illusion of a logical, dispassionate discovery method of composition reaching a definitive and correct conclusion -- which

2002-05-09T22:05:00.000-04:00

New Internet Rules Discovered cross posted to numerous newsgroups (and all off-topic): From: Horatio Tonkin (horton@greeneggs.sam.im) Subject: Internet Usage Guidelines - Preparatory Notice Newsgroups: A group of concerned Internet users I belong to had a meeting a few days ago, and we came to the decision that too many of you out there are not employing the Internet in a manner

2002-05-08T23:04:00.000-04:00

Sales Through Annoyance It's said in media circles that talk about oneself, whether positive or negative, is a good thing. Any press you get is valuable press, even if you're raked through the coals by it. For some reason, a desire for this feeble kind of fame has been translated into the world of advertising. Instead of being whittled away by the time honored methods companies favor in

2002-05-07T22:20:00.000-04:00

The Politically Correct Tarot The Sensitive Male Trusting; sacrificial; undemanding; effete; wimpy; asexual; dull; vegan. Represents personal frugality while generous to life partner's every whim; accepts no as answer; succor only with the simplest of issues; artsy-crafty; chatty; lack of overt masculine traits. The Sensitive Male of Swords card reflects a muddled, enigmatic component in a

2002-05-06T23:41:00.000-04:00

The Blurried Musings Trashbin This blog is not like most other blogs. I don't post a flurry of brief but brilliant thoughts off the cuff (with links and everything!). I've had such weblogs, and no doubt always will. Blurried Musings isn't like that. I post just one article a day, and take time to think over the topic of each piece. That may be as little as 30 seconds, and the final product may

2002-05-05T22:39:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Seven What are the key ingredients for making a bad myth? I ask because I came into contact with many as a child. Some must have been devised by fellow children, either to amuse ourselves, scare our peers, or explain away something we were unwilling to ask an adult about. But many seem rather advanced to have emerged from the imagination and guess work of the

2002-05-04T22:33:00.000-04:00

Kafkaesquí's Take On Creation If I believed in a God, and accepted the outlandish claim of how He created the world and everything else around us, here's why I would imagine He must have gone to all that trouble... Before the beginning there was nothing but peace and quiet, which is the way God likes it. Take a look in the Old Testament at how He milks vengeance from any noisy community, which

2002-05-03T22:56:00.000-04:00

Dweeb vs. Nerd Most of us have stumbled into those long, drawn out theoretical to the death skirmish of words cooked up by the fan base of competing fictional beings or technologies: Superman vs. Batman; Star Wars vs. Star Trek; the Professor from Gilligan's Island vs. MacGyver. Some of you may even take part in them. I myself have done my best to stay out of these slugfests, though I'm certain

2002-05-02T22:09:00.000-04:00

Religious Convulsion Apparently religion has again hit a bad patch in the road. The Christian far right is demanding ever more control over everyone's moral compass, especially that of the non-Christian; a now notorious group of Muslim fundamentalists has discovered ways to make extremism appear even less attractive than it already was; and let's not forget the devilish and sickening sexual

2002-05-01T22:50:00.000-04:00

Why My Dreams Suck (Now) I can remember some seriously loopy dreams from when I was young. My unconscious certainly played around with many of the standard Jungian plot twists, such as flying, or invincibility, or having sex in weird places. Thanks to the psychological effect growing up in the tornado waistcoat of the Midwestern US, I had to deal with twisters roaring down on our house at least

2002-04-30T23:04:00.000-04:00

Technological Apathy from the Other Side I'm visiting Google for a fourth time since setting up Blurried Musings just over two months ago, to convince them to list me. Each time I submit my URL I'm in essence requesting the honor of a visit, annoying them to do a quick seek-crawl through my site and gather whatever data they require so they'll list me. Each time I do this seven to ten days will

2002-04-29T23:24:00.000-04:00

Seldom Used Debate Methods "I'm right because God said it in the Bible." "That's not what your girlfriend told me in bed last night." "I'd refute the speaker's statement if she wasn't such a butthead." "How much will it cost to beat the other team?" "A numerological examination of your point says..." "If I don't win I'm leaving, and the podium goes with me!" "Pick a card." "Pretend I just said a

2002-04-28T23:41:00.000-04:00

Getting Old(er) I am on a cusp in my personal chronology. I've been here for a while now, and likely won't pass beyond it for a few more years. It's a strange place: it doesn't put me quite at the point I can claim as middle age; it refuses to offer much that could ready a passage from the remnant mindset of those youthful ideals; it's sometimes painful, both from a psychological concern and in

2002-04-27T23:20:00.000-04:00

Confused Blog to Biog Looking over my last Blurried Musing article, it's difficult to figure out the point. Having written the damn thing, I know what my objective was for the softly tiradical document, even if my writing turned out disjointed and came nowhere close to a complete thought. What I'm after here is to say that I can't say why I went on about the topic for any length, since there's

2002-04-26T23:02:00.000-04:00

Nom De Net Unlike almost anywhere else or with any previous technology, on the Internet we can pretend to be whatever we want to be, simply by slipping out of the persona we normally put forth, and slipping into an even more made up one. This, however, is rarely as good a thing as one might imagine. (It's not all bad, but when complaining you've got to start somewhere.) Log on to any bulletin

2002-04-25T23:35:00.000-04:00

A Brief Story Interlude (Mail Carrier Ted)When Ted was young, much too young to work, he would say becoming a mail carrier, bringing letters and magazines and advertisements and packages to his neighbors, was all he thought of, all day, and all night. For as long as he could recall, Ted had only one dream, and that dream was to deliver the mail.Ted's childhood friends would try to talk him out of

2002-04-24T23:08:00.000-04:00

Modes of Transport I've gotten around in many different ways throughout my life, just like the rest of you. Here's most of the methods of conveyance I've had a chance to experiment with, and how I rate them: Crawling Crawling is easy, and a simple way to go from point A to point B, but you can't get away with it forever. Crawling is much like breast feeding: when you take it up everyone seems

2002-04-23T23:22:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Six Animals, or as I mean them here, pets, represent an occasional occurrence in my youth. For many American families they provide a regular staple to the growing up experience, a seemingly natural and constant din that falls harmoniously in with the symphony of household noises. For me, I can only key up several long notes. We had one dog, Tootsie. She was

2002-04-22T23:24:00.000-04:00

Captions Without Pictures Sam Beckinsworth of Wichita Falls greets new Wichita-Fallians with a basket from the Neighborhood Welcoming Committee. Sam's black eye is reportedly due to a "welcome" altercation with recent arrivals from Boston. Newtie the wombat (far left) is looked on proudly by owners Denise and Bob Mooch (center), both saved from drowning by the small mammal while swimming in a

2002-04-21T23:55:00.000-04:00

Read Me! I've been a book person as far back as I can remember; in fact very nearly as long as I've had a brain to remember with. Books and the technical aspects to their creation hold a certain intangible attraction to me, and I've learned a good deal about the publishing trade. My love of books lead me to take up work in a bookstore for a number of years (until much better paying job offers

2002-04-20T23:01:00.000-04:00

Incidental Music Fan I was listening to a PBS special the other day, Lewis & Clark - The Journey of the Corps of Discovery. It's an accurate enough look at their travels through the then newly purchased Louisiana Territory all the way to the West coast, and back again. However, I did find myself at times arguing at the screen whenever historian Stephen Ambrose appeared to provide his take on

2002-04-19T23:44:00.000-04:00

Books They Should Never Publish (but probably will) Eating for Dummies Moby Dick II: The Resurrection Living Life to Adequacy After My 15 Minutes, by MC Hammer Tourist Guide to Gas City, Indiana Osama Bin Laden's Big Book of Humor Best Java Web Sites Super Models, Super Brains (foreword by Kate Moss, Ph.D.) Zen and the Art of Toaster Repair Talking Sex with John Ashcroft Warez Made Easy Success

2002-04-18T23:27:00.000-04:00

Agree to Not Disagree Disagreeably These days I try to avoid arguments. It's not that I fear face to face confrontation (or in the case of this medium, computer to computer); quite the opposite. I thoroughly enjoy a good scream at the top of my lungs, especially when it's directed at someone else; and there's much to be said for the electrified atmosphere of a good row. The exhilaration one

2002-04-17T23:30:00.000-04:00

Wanderaffection I've had my share of small adventures and spent time wandering distant airports in cities like Brussels, and Vienna, and... well, there was Brussels and Vienna, but mostly there's been Chicago and Indianapolis, and Miami and Fort Lauderdale. I think there's a stop in St. Louis in there, though I don't remember when or why. Admittedly, my frequent flier punch card is somewhat

2002-04-16T23:50:00.000-04:00

Empty Post The title says it all. No, it's not about Emily's sister. Sometimes I have a lot to say, though it may come out all wrong when it gets posted here -- wish I could blame my editor for that, but I refuse to take the blame. Sometimes there's very little I have to say, but with a little work I can come up with a good 400-500 words on some inane topic or other. I'm very proud of the hack

2002-04-15T22:11:00.000-04:00

The Politics of Creation (Not Creative Politics) I've recently become a member of a collaborative weblog (all right, blog) that will try and corral fourteen disparate folk into doing something even the simplest theme anthologies have trouble accomplishing with authors writing independently: create a running work of fiction within a world constructed specifically for our aggregate composition,

2002-04-14T23:36:00.000-04:00

A Conversation With Orley O: "Enjoying your lunch, Kaf?" K: "Orley! Hey, I didn't notice you poking around behind the soda machine." O: "Sorry to surprise you, but can you help me with something?" K: "I can certainly try. What's the problem?" O: "It's that -- well, I seem to have lost my Purpose." K: "..." O: "Maybe "lost" is not the right word. But it's definitely not where it should be."

2002-04-13T23:15:00.000-04:00

Timelinks Thinking about it (briefly), one comes to realize that everything deserves to have it's own timeline, or at least we seem to accept that as fact. If there's a task people appear to like more than counting money, it's matching up past dates to events, fact and fiction, then organizing it all in non-arbitrary, columnar fashion. Wars, inventions, the sexual escapades of famous people,

2002-04-12T23:26:00.000-04:00

The World in XML How the world should work in XML: Kafkaesquí Excuse me, but I only have a couple items and I'm paying by cash. Can I go in

2002-04-11T23:07:00.000-04:00

Best Ways to Misspell "Kafkaesquí" Kafkaesque Kafka Esqui Kafkaschmafka Kafkayesky Kafkaesqueezeme? Kaffiyeh Kafkaeschew (gezundheit) Kafé Esprí Kafka Din Corfu isle Kaffetti KafkaASCII

2002-04-11T00:02:00.000-04:00

April 10, 2002 Notetaker Detention I have a fair memory for most things, and can usually provide adequate recollection on what was said (though the dialogue may be vague), or done (give or take motivating factors). Sometimes I can even attach a date to an event, if one allows rounding off to the year. I do have a good memory that time has yet to rob me of, but I'm not inclined towards that

2002-04-09T23:37:00.000-04:00

Internet Advertising Under the Fingernails Just received my first targeted "Purchase Me" email in regards to Blurried Musings, thanks in part to the advertiser's windfall it must represent. It was targeted in the sense the sender took enough time to dig up an appropriate address to post it to, and refers to the site directly. It's been up since late February, so they've been a bit slow in

2002-04-08T23:33:00.000-04:00

Fragments From the Memory Log, Entry Five There are key moments from my youth that stick out like lightning bugs in the summer darkness of an open field. Some are turning points in my life, great and small, while others appear to be blinking bright only by happenstance. For all these encephalic frames of time, my brain is an efficient neural Web search engine displaying the most important and

2002-04-07T23:03:00.000-04:00

Fortune Cookie Local #213 Discovered in a recent fortune cookie: We, the writers of Chinese fortune cookie fortunes like the one you now hold, find it appalling that our generous wishes, tidings of joy, and forecasts for future love and well-being go mainly unheeded. We do not spend our days composing these documents with the intention they be tossed ... continued on back ... into ashtrays and

2002-04-06T21:01:00.000-05:00

Blogger vs. Kafkaesquí Note to Blogger: I'm throwing in the towel. I can't fight you any longer. You win. It's an acceptance of defeat that I'm spending this time writing about the online system I use for my Blurried Musing posts. And it's sad beyond that personally, because I'd planned from the outset not to do any such thing. Even a short piece describing aspects of Blogger in comparison to

2002-04-05T23:39:00.000-05:00

A Brief Story Interlude (Mother of Saint Street) Susan was a hooker on Saint Street, but a hooker who cared deeply for the well being of her fellow streetwalkers. She was a whore, of that there could be no doubt, but a whore who wore her heart on her sleeve when it came to her sisters. Susan was well known for bringing pots brimming full of hot chicken soup, or going for prescriptions when

2002-04-04T23:45:00.000-05:00

One Hundred Percent Perspiration I've been thinking lately on the nature of creativity for a writer and how most regard it, and here's what I've come up with: it's a wash. Tolkien (of Lord of the Rings fame -- not the movies but the books) called the process he used or perhaps lived through to develop his ring-compelled tales sub-creation, by which he meant that all works flow in some fashion

2002-04-03T18:38:00.000-05:00

A Sparrow, Maybe a Hawk, But Not a Parrot I want to be a bird. There are the blatantly obvious reasons for this. The opportunity to leave behind the impersonal exterior envelope of an airplane and instead have the power of flight jacked straight into you is a tough one to pass up. To stretch out your arms -- I mean wings, flutter them briefly, leap to the sky and head upwards. The image of it

2002-04-02T13:35:00.000-05:00

Business Investor Tarot The CFO Illusory guarantee of success and wealth; clandestine resources; metaphysical numeric wisdom. Represents initiative; innovative ignorance; esoteric financial talents; petty frugality; zealousness; vacillation on exact figures; potential leading to unraveled hopes. Drawing the CFO of Cups with a Line of Credit card can lead to generous gifts in future fiscal

2002-04-01T04:01:00.000-05:00

April 1 Without a Net As April Fools Day is one of only three holidays Kafkaesquí actually celebrates during the year (the other two being International Orgasm Day, and something he calls Creamed Chipped Beef Awareness Weekend), he's offline for the full twenty-four hours and has asked me to post in his stead. I'm not too keen on this writing thing he's got going on, so I took it upon myself to

2002-03-31T21:22:00.000-05:00

Discarded Stephen King Titles Flame Girl The Bladdering What I Had for Lunch Thursday Scruffy Really Big, Super Sweet Dead Man Walking Janice The Stephen King Crash Diet The Dead Grave Bone Night Fire Lot Zone Segway Teenage Psychic Nut Job Bag of Some Stuff Put My Name On Used Toilet Paper and It Would Sell

2002-03-30T23:48:00.000-05:00

My Impression of the Internet Sucking Sound The most amazing thing I've come to realize at this end of almost a decade spent in near unbroken online excursioning, is that there is so mind-numbingly little out there on the Net, and the Web in particular, I'm able to consider myself impressed by or find of any use. Oh sure, I can and do stumble across the occasional bright, shiny bauble that has

2002-03-29T23:22:00.000-05:00

Evil Genius Business Tactics for Destroying the World Stockpile the Tools to Your Success Nuclear is certainly the weapon of choice for the Evil Genius of sophistication -- few have the money and brain trust available for building space-borne killer beam platforms or other exotic world menacing devices. For atomics, we're talking in the range of at least two to three thousand high-yield