Blurried Musings (a Kafkaesquí blog joint)
"If you can't annoy somebody, there is little point in writing."    Kingsley Amis
August 28, 2002
E-mail Reply To Sarah at

> Hi


> I visited, and noticed that you're not
> listed on some search engines!

You are unusually curious, Sarah, and no doubt a highly caring person to be so distressed about something like this. Let me assure you the situation that has caused you grief is only for search engines I do not desire to be on. I thank you heartily for the concern, Sarah, as well as for visiting my site. I've put a lot of work into it, and appreciate thoughtful readers like you.

> I think we can offer you a service which can help you increase
> traffic and the number of visitors to your website.

That sounds like a fascinating and rewarding service for your company to provide, Sarah. However, why would you hope to relieve me of a chore I find satisfying to accomplish on my own? No, this sounds like the path of a slacker. I am not a slacker, Sarah. Perhaps you believe I'm so tied up in providing content for my site I have no free time to engage in other pursuits. There's no reason to assume this about me, Sarah. I am quite able to manage my time, as well as handle a varied number of personal activities.

> I would like to introduce you to We offer a
> unique technology that will submit your website to over 300,000
> search engines and directories every month.

Over 300,000, Sarah? That is certainly a lot of search engines and directories. More than I could ever hope to keep track of on my own. In fact, it's more than I would burden any one person or company to have to manage for me. I certainly hope you don't see me as someone who could inflict upon others that which I would never be willing to deal with myself. I am not a cruel person, Sarah. Please never ask me to become one.

> You'll be surprised by the low cost, and by how effective this
> website promotion method can be.

Sarah, by now I should expect you to understand that the cost of your honorable service is not at issue. It is the well-being of you and your fellow co-workers, and towards this new found, budding friendship between us I fear for. I do not wish to do anything that could impinge on these.

> To find out more about TrafficMagnet and the cost for submitting
> your website to over 300,000 search engines and directories, visit
> us at:

Sarah, I will be happy to look at your Web site. I think it's only fair, considering you've already visited mine. Note that I promise not to examine the number of search engines which are aware of it. <grin>

> I would love to hear from you.

As I look forward to receiving your next message. And please, Sarah, no further fretting over my site's publicity. I can readily handle the artless craft of Internet aggrandizement for my own benefit.

Warmest Regards,


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